Not So Shiny Now ...

Congratulations Alex Rodriguez! ... you've just been inducted into the Baseball Hall of Shame! ... along with the infamous likes of Barry "Barroid" Bonds, Roger "Never Happened" Clemens, Rafael "Finger Pointer" Palmeiro, Mark "Don't Want To Talk About The Past" McGuire, Andy "Pretty Boy" Pettitte, Jason "Mustache Man" Giambi ... and the list seems to grow longer by the minute ... isn't it interesting how some of our most lilliputian of indiscretions seem to always come back to haunt us in Brobdingnagian ways?

Now don't you fret none A-Rod ... you're no stranger to controversy, and quite adept at squirming out of close situations ... I'm sure you'll find a way to skirt around these latest embarrassing "false allegations" with the greatest of ease ... that's what high-priced lawyers and unions are for, right? ... after all, none of the names of the 104 players who tested positive for performance enhancing substances in Major League Baseball's 2003 testing "survey" were to ever be revealed to the public, including Alex Rodriguez, who tested positive for two anabolic steroids (testosterone and Primobolan) during his 2003 American League MVP season with the Texas Rangers, and that after allegedly being tipped off by officials of the MLB Player's Association that tests were forthcoming ... tests conducted to determine if MLB should impose random drug testing for the 2004 season ... when asked if there was any explanation for his positive test results ... A-Rod's reply was to be expected, "You'll have to talk to the union" ... "I'm not saying anything."

Although there were no penalties for a positive test in 2003, MLB's drug policy had expressly prohibited the use of steroids without a valid prescription since 1991 ... testosterone can be taken legally with an appropriate medical prescription ... however, Primobolan is not an approved prescription drug in the United States, nor was it in 2003 ... a drug popular with baseball players because it could help to improve strength and build lean muscle without creating an exaggeratedly bulky appearance, and with fewer side effects than other steroids ... the drug is also detectable for a shorter period of time.

So Alex, don't get too upset ... there's not much that law enforcement officials, Bud Selig and Major League Baseball or the New York Yankees can do about those positive drug tests at this juncture ... the cash will continue to flow into your pockets, maybe not as much as you've been accustomed to (somewhere in the neighborhood of $200+ million thus far), but cash will flow ... and there will always be that certain type of fan that will continue to pay good money to watch you strut your stuff for the camera, and buy merchandise and memorabilia with your name printed all over it ... but the thing that will eat away at your soul more than anything else is the knowledge that your image, your most delicate and treasured asset, has been forever tarnished and irreparably damaged in the eyes of true and honest baseball fans worldwide ... the man most likely to surpass MLB's all-time home run record currently held by Barry Bonds, and restore integrity and honor to that record, and to the sport ... what a joke! ... what A-Fraud!

Slide over Barry, you've got company!

BREAKING NEWS: February 9, 2009--Alex Rodriguez admits to using performance-enhancing drugs to ESPN's Peter Gammoms.

--sja